What I’ve done.

The last post left you on a cliff hanger right? right? 😉 Well I actually did take action. When I was still confused over my feelings but kinda sure that I liked him I decided to “show” him that I was noticing him.

On Valentines Day, I know its cliche, I waited anxiously in the cafeteria. It was eating at me.  What would he say? Would he know it’s from me? Will he think it’s creepy? I was beyond nervous. At school, the juniors organize a rose-selling event to raise money for their future senior trip. Most people buy roses for there partners, or friends but I had to be ballzy and buy one for him.

Of course I didn’t sign it or anything. I wrote from anonymous but I still had to write my name on it so the juniors would know who the money was from. That sucked but I knew that no one at school would be brave enough to confront me about it. I didn’t know what to write on the actual letter attached to the rose. Do I say I like you? No I’m not sure yet. Do I say you’re cool so here’s a rose! No seriously that’s weird. So I pictured the first thing I could think of: I admire you. Which I do. He’s amazing.

I kept switching between I don’t care and OMG WHY DID I DO THAT but I had to stick it out and see his reactions only…HE DIDN’T SHOW UP TO LUNCH! Some of the seniors go off campus for lunch or go home. He lives close to the school…I’m not a stalker. So not only did I not get to see his reaction but the juniors and staff members involved in giving out the roses payed more attention to my rose because they were looking for him for a whole half and hour!

I have the worst luck.

Later I found out that he got the rose eventually. My guy friend told me that he didn’t really have any emotions toward it. He wasn’t weirded out by it or happy at all. My worrying was for nothing. My effort was for nothing. I guess I should have been relieved…but I wasn’t.


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